文书写作二三谈（二）：晒简历晒成绩晒奖学金晒愚蠢

[align=center][align=lt][font=微软雅黑][color=#333333][size=2]最近很多朋友发信让我指导下留学文书写作，实在无法一一作答。大家的提问很宽泛，三言两语说不清，敷衍也不礼貌，因为很多全局性的问题的解释需要较长的篇幅，别人开的帖子里写出来太招人讨厌还难消解。故汇聚所见所得于此处独立成文，供大家讨论参考。楼主之前的更新见下文链接，如有具体问题问询请点原文链接。[/size][/color][/font] [color=#4169e1][font=微软雅黑][size=2]文书写作二三谈（一）：Tell us something about yourself[/size][/font] [font=微软雅黑][color=rgb(0, 0, 0)][size=12px][size=2][color=rgb(0, 0, 0)][size=12px][url= 0, 0)][size=12px] [/size][/color][/font][/color][/align][/align][align=center][font=微软雅黑][size=2][color=#4169e1][b]Case 1 晒成绩晒简历晒愚蠢[/b][/color][/size][/font][/align][font=微软雅黑][size=2] 以下是楼主从国内某高端文书高端留学高端人生的网站上看到的。据说是出自英文教授之手。同学问若是感兴趣，请联系我要地址。对方严禁转载，生怕网友拿来主义直接套用坏了前程。我就嘿嘿嘿乐了，我跟街上5岁小孩聊天都比你花一星期抽很多根烟精雕细琢出的文书要正点，你倒贴我都不敢用......[/size][/font][font=微软雅黑][size=2] [/size][/font][font=微软雅黑][size=2] [/size][/font] [font=微软雅黑][size=2]Apparently, passion and intellectual caliber have not been the sole factors that have informed my academic pursuit. It is the academic initiative that led me to do a double Master’s degree at the Faculty of Business and Economics of Hong Kong University (HKU). At this top 2 business school in East Asia (according to an assessment in 20XX), I have strived for the ultimate limit of excellence in an exclusively finance-oriented program. With a Straight-A record (GPA 3.97), I was on the top of the “Dean’s Honours List” for 20XX, an honor awarded to 20 students among a total of 133 double-degree students. This is the first time I have cited those statistics and facts to indicate what a good student I have been and, in doing so, I do not mean to give you the impression that I am a conceited or pretentious person, for person of such a nature would not have consistently maintained the highly level of excellence the way I did over a whole span of seven years. For me, what comes first and remains paramount has always been to learn what I love and learn it truly well. Intellectual curiosity and a lasting commitment to academics are what really lie behind my statistics and facts. [b] 1.晒简历晒成绩晒奖学金很无聊 [/b] CV和成绩单已经提交过了。别担心评审委员看不到你的优秀成绩。他们不是瞎子。不是让你藏拙，只是这么做很不经济，白白浪费掉了一个机会。一个受过高等教育并决定继续接受更高等教育的人应该理解MECE的原则，申请材料尽可能减少大幅的overlapping。 [b]2.实在忍不住那就晒吧 谦逊正确的晒humble brag也不是不能接受 [/b] 可是上文写得很荒谬——I have strived for the ultimate limit of excellence in an exclusively finance-oriented program。作者想说的是我即使在一个极难进的高精尖金融项目里也能出类拔萃…正确的表达应该是highly selective或者highly exclusive，然后上文哗啦啦的用了个exclusively非常刺眼。形容词和副词都分不清楚，这个智商是怎么上北大的啊。教授也都是学生过来的，谁没申请过花哨项目啊，又不是美国总统的经济班子，ultimate limit of excellence这种省着点用。 [b]3.晒也不要主观揣测读者的反应 [/b] 这里作者胆子也太大了——This is the first time I have cited those statistics and facts to indicate what a good student I have been and, in doing so, I do not mean to give you the impression that I am a conceited or pretentious person——彻底的中式英语。说的意思这是我第一次引用这些数据和事实以证明我是一个多么好的学生这么做希望你们千万不要觉得我是个整天孔雀开屏的二缺。如果鼻孔朝天的学霸们自我感觉好到爆表，我觉得后面加一句To list more of my academic achievements might be to run the risk of boasting然后赶紧吹嘘别的吧 。 [b]4.再退一步讲，即使你已经把自己黑遍了，也不要自暴自弃将自己一棒子打死[/b] 举个简单的例子。I am being stupid是指我今儿干了件蠢事脑子进了水，暂时的状态而已。补补觉脱脱水第二天就好了。I am a stupid person是说我这辈子都是个helpless moron了。作者因为不清楚语言的细微差别，这里写I am a conceited or pretentious person 又不动声色的自黑了。 我写这些只是给大家提个醒，这个还是有胆有脸晒文书的中介…都这样了...剩下那些你们还是不要想了……[/size][/font][font=微软雅黑][size=2] [/size][/font] [align=center][b][color=#4169e1]Case 2 魔鬼藏在细节里 [/color][/b][/align][font=微软雅黑][size=2] Doing the double Master’s program at PKU (Shenzhen) and HKU has produced unique impacts on me. The City of Shenzhen, located right across Hong Kong, one of the leading financial centers in Asia and in the world, was created two and a half decades ago as China’s first special economic zone. It has the country’s most vibrant economy and one of the two stock markets on the mainland. 这是接着上文的一个例子。暂且不说这个produce用的多么滑稽。你是苹果还是鳄梨啊...就看这里的stock market这个用法就错了。作者想说的是自己上学的城市深圳有着中国大陆两大证券交易所之一的深交所，结果用错词了了...stock market是个泛指的虚词 美国人民坊间闲扯报纸上杯弓蛇影说这几天股市大跌可以用这个词的 ..用个“虚词”指代深交所这个具体的physical presence 已经够荒谬了。更荒谬的是主人公是金融专业前文还列了一堆很厉害的成绩。然后笔锋一转，这么基础的事情就搞错了。英语不好还是专业能力欠缺还是逻辑有问题？我也不知道。 西谚有云 the devil is in the detail 这个话都烂大街了。我真正想说的是——the devil will come to its due eventually because it is often those little, unnoticed things that are most revealing about your true self。[/size][/font] [font=微软雅黑][size=2]原文作者：GWGWGW[/size][/font] [font=微软雅黑][size=2]原文链接：[url= [font=微软雅黑][size=2]澳际原创 转载请注明出处[/size][/font]立即咨询