2017美国留学申请文书点评——特殊教育专业

[Prompt: What you do in the classroom dines only a part of who you are. How do you spend your time when you are not in class or studying?]

提示：你在教室里的表现只能展现你的一部分性格。那么当你不在教室或者不学习的时候你都干些什么？

I taught him something new.

“Eat” and “boat” were the only two words he knew, yet he said these two simple words with enthusiasm and passion. When he smiled, his hazel eyes glimmered with curious innocence and his lips curled in na?ve playfulness: childish, but sincere. He laughed at the ordinary things in life -- a butterfly fluttering on a leaf, a ball rolling across the asphalt -- but his laughs always rang joyously, untainted by worry.

Nervous, but eager, I arrived for the Landmark program in Gilmanton Iron Works, New Hampshire, only to find Kory‘s outstretched arms ready for a bear hug. I looked at him, uneasy and hesitant. There he stood bore me, all five-foot-nine of him, with a silly grin revealing two rows of crooked teeth. Immediately, I was astonished, repulsed, and a little frightened. He looked disheveled and dirty, yet he oozed innocent confidence. I had never interacted with the mentally challenged bore, and I had no idea what to expect. I reluctantly took a step forward, into his extended arms, into a new world.

“Sam, “ I tried to teach him, in hopes of throwing another shiny quarter into his bank of two words. He stared at me blankly, questioning the sounds that came out of my mouth. He slowly formed a bemused expression that seemed to indicate those quarters might never shine.

At first our time together was very awkward; I didn’t know what to say to him, and he didn’t have much to say to me. After the first day, however, I realized that, although Kory couldn’t converse, he enjoyed just listening to me and playing with me. In fact, after spending a week with Kory, my own communication skills improved markedly. I discovered the power of eye contact, facial expressions, and physical gestures. After we reached this understanding, our relationship prossed steadily. I found him easy to trust, and he began to trust me. He looked up to me and emulated my behavior.

Our relationship wasn’t without conflict, however. At times, he and I both became frustrated when we couldn’t understand each other. Especially trying were Kory’s frequent temper tantrums. These frenzies were nerve-racking because oftentimes I didn’t know why he was crying or how to make him stop. Yet Kory’s exasperation and wild emotions forced me to be a model of control. After a few of his fits, I realized that Kory just needed me to be calm while he released some frustration.

Kory and I experienced a week of ups and downs. We painted, canoed, and sang. I watched him giggle whimsically and throw aggressive fits. Bore I went to Landmark, I would have shrunk away, fearful of this mysterious boy. After that week, however, I looked at him fondly and with a new understanding.

On the last day, I stood in the driveway of the camp waiting for my ride to the airport. There he stood bore me, all five-foot-nine of him, with that silly grin and outstretched arms, ready for a bear hug. I approached him, this time without hesitation. When we pulled back, we both had watery eyes.

I taught him something new, but in the end, he taught me so much more.

点评：

文章绘声绘色的讲述了作者自己与一个残障人士在一周之内发生的事情。在这段时间内，无论智障孩子的纯真的微笑，还是狂躁的脾气，作者都为我们进行了描述。他们一起生活，一起游戏，一起唱歌，这一切一切都令读者感受到了温馨的感觉。仅仅从文笔上来讲，就可以称作是一篇好的文章。况且并非仅仅是这样。

在文章开始的时候，仅仅是通过对智障孩子的外貌描写，我们就能看出来作者有“爱心”，然后再通篇的描述中，这种“爱心”与“耐心”完美的结合了起来。这些都是作者想要表达给这篇ESSAY的审查者的。

而在最后的一句话：I taught him something new, but in the end, he taught me so much more，可以说是文章的点睛之笔。他的不仅仅是提醒阅读者自己所具有的优点：爱心以及耐心，更重要的是对这种纯真的感情进行了烘托。付出了很多，得到了什么？得到的是真挚的情感，我想作者真正想说的，应该是只要真心的付出，就一定会得到真挚的回报这个观点。

文章紧扣题目要求，在叙述以及抒情的同时都在向阅读者表述自己通过这件事情能够体现出来的品质以及能力。可以说是这种以情感叙述为主体的文章中的成功之作。