女人强势不是一种罪过.

双语阅读是英语学习频道下的的栏目,内容包括双语情感贴士、双语新闻、双语研究、双语健康咨询、双语娱乐明星等英语双语阅读，皆为中英对照双语阅读的生活资讯。

　　How women can respond to that other B-word: Bossy

　　女人强势不是一种罪过

　　Dear Annie: A little band of women in my office (including me) have been talking about Sheryl Sandberg&aposs campaign to get people to stop calling girls "bossy" when they show leadership traits that would be praised for boys, and we&aposre curious about what you and your readers think. I have been called "bossy" all my life, starting when I was just a kid, right up through performance evaluations at my last employer.

　　亲爱的安妮：谢丽尔•桑德伯格发起运动，号召人们不要在女性表现出男性身上备受推崇的领导特质时给她们贴上“强势”的标签。我们办公室的一小群女士(包括我)就这个话题展开了讨论，我们很好奇您和您的读者是怎么想的。从我还是小孩时开始，一直到上个老板对我进行绩效评估，别人一直说我“强势”。

　　Maybe I&aposm super sensitive about this, because I don&apost see myself as bossy, just firm and demanding, the same as my male colleagues. Now, my daughter is getting called bossy by her volleyball teammates, which really bugs me. On the other hand, some women here say that being called bossy is just one of those negative stereotypes we should learn to ignore and rise above. Your thoughts, please? -- Not Bossy, Just the Boss

　　也许是我对这个问题太敏感了，因为我并不觉得自己强势，只是意志坚定、要求严格罢了，跟我的那些男同事没什么区别。现在，我女儿也被她的排球队队友形容为强势了，这一点确实让我很困扰。另一方面，办公室的一些女同事说，被称作强势只是又一种我们需要学着忽略和克服的刻板偏见罢了。我想请问您对这个问题怎么看?——并不强势的老板

　　Dear N.B.J.B.: Your signature sounds like what Beyonce said in her TV ads for Sandberg&aposs crusade ("I&aposm not bossy. I&aposm the boss."), a series of spots that also featured Condoleezza Rice and actress Jennifer Garner and kicked off a bri storm of controversy in the press last month. The thinking behind banning "bossy" -- and the reason the fort is co-sponsored by the Girl Scouts of the United States -- is that calling girls like your daughter, but not boys, "bossy" discourages female kids from developing the leadership skills they&aposll need to succeed as adults.

　　亲爱的“并不强势的老板”：你的签名听起来很像碧昂斯在她为桑德伯格的活动拍的电视广告中用的口号(“我是老板，我不强势。”)，康多莉扎•赖斯(美国前国务卿——译注)和女演员詹妮弗•加纳也参与拍摄了这一系列广告。上个月，这组广告在新闻界引发了不小的争议。禁用“强势”一词活动背后的想法以及美国女童子军协助承办这项活动的理由是，人们用“专横”这个词来形容女孩(比如自己的女儿)，会妨碍她们发展自己的领导才能，而这是她们长大后获得成功所必需的素质。

　　There&aposs probably some truth to that. "Why is &aposbossy&apos always bad?" asks Gabrielle Adams, who teaches organizational behavior at the London Business School. "Does it have a negative connotation because it&aposs always applied to women? Or is &aposbossiness&apos ascribed to strong women because it&aposs negative?" Either way, she says, the word implies that "someone is assuming, or exercising, authority they&aposre not entitled to. They&aposre overstepping their bounds."

　　这个观点或许有一定道理。伦敦商学院(London Business School)教授组织行为学的加布里埃尔•亚当斯反问：“‘专横’这个词为什么不好?难道因为它总是用在女性身上，所以带上了负面的涵义?还是因为它有着负面涵义，才被用于形容强势的女性?”她表示，无论是哪种，这个词都在暗示：“有人接受或行使着他们无权享有的权力。他们已经踩过界了。”

　　When London Business School asked 2,218 women managers if the word had ever been applied to them, 54% said they&aposd been called bossy at some point, or at more than one point, in their careers.

　　伦敦商学院对2,218名女经理进行了调查，询问是否有人用这个词形容过她们。结果有54%的受访者表示她们在工作中有至少一次被人称作“专横”的经历。

　　"A man showing the same traits would probably be called decisive or powerful instead," Adams notes. She points to years of research by Princeton University psychology professor Susan Fiske showing that, while men can be considered both likable and competent, women are perceived as less likable the more competent they are.

　　亚当斯说：“拥有同样特质的男性可能会被形容为果断或者强势。”她指出，普林斯顿大学(Princeton University)的心理学教授苏珊•菲斯克经过多年调查，发现男性可以同时获得讨人喜欢和能干的印象，而女性越能干就会越不讨人喜欢。

　　"A woman who is a strong leader is violating what people may regard as &aposnormal&apos feminine behavior, which is submissive and self-facing," says Adams. "That can be unsettling or even threatening, which is why &aposbossy&apos carries such a load of hostility."

　　亚当斯说：“铁腕女性违背了人们认为的‘正常’女性的举止——顺从和谦逊，这一点可能会令人不安，甚至对人产生威胁，这就是为什么‘专横’带上了这么多的敌意。”

　　So how should women respond? "You can certainly call someone on it if they call you that, and explain why you hold the opinion or take the approach" that earned you the epithet, Adams says. "But that just means that women have to spend more time and energy dending themselves, and justifying their behavior, than men do."

　　那么女性应当如何应对呢?亚当斯说：“如果有人这么说你，你当然可以去他们解释，为什么你会有(给你赢得这种名声)想法或行动。但这就意味着女性需要比男性花上更多时间和精力去进行自我保护，为自己的行为辩护。”

　　Or do they? Here&aposs where it gets a lot less clear. Nancy Friedberg, a longtime executive coach and president of Career Leverage, often gets called in to large companies to work with male senior managers who "don&apost get called &aposbossy,&apos but their colleagues do complain that they&aposre &aposabrasive&apos or &aposarrogant&apos or even &aposbullying.&apos It&aposs the same behavior, just described in different terms." (Her favorite HR euphemism for domineering male bosses is "rough around the edges.")

　　事实果真如此吗?这点就远没有那么明显了。职业生涯规划公司Career Leverage的总裁南希•弗雷德伯格长期为高管提供培训，她经常被邀请去大公司和男性高管打交道，那些人“不会被人说成‘专横’，但他们的同事确实会抱怨他们‘粗鲁’、‘傲慢’甚至‘恃强凌弱’。这是同样的行为，只是用了不同的词语来形容。”(对于那些专横跋扈的男老板，她最喜欢的委婉形容是“不近人情”。)

　　Whether the difficult person in question is male or female, Friedberg says, the coaching method is the same: Figure out how and why this manager has gotten co-workers&apos hackles up, and help him or her to alter the offending behavior.

　　弗雷德伯格表示，无论这个难以相处的人是男是女，培训方式都是一样的：搞清这个领导是为什么，怎么会惹怒同事的，然后帮助他或她改变这些冒犯性的行为。

　　"The most fective leaders of either sex can be assertive and strong while still being respectful," Friedberg says. "They can point out problems and mistakes while still leaving others&apos dignity intact. Whether you&aposre male or female, being highly controlling or judgmental is what&aposs seen as &aposbossy&apos or &aposabrasive&apos -- and it&aposs not a leadership style that works well for anybody."

　　弗雷德伯格说：“最高效的那些领导不论男女，都可以在独断和强势的同时受到人们的尊敬。他们可以指出问题和错误，同时不伤害别人的自尊。反之，无论你是男是女，表现出很强的控制欲或者非常挑剔，都会被认为是‘专横’和‘粗鲁’——对任何人来说，这都不是一种合适的领导风格。”

　　By her lights, anyone who is called "bossy" (or "abrasive") would be smart to take a hard look at why others think that. Friedberg recommends going after honest feedback -- either via a formal 360-degree evaluation or, more informally, just by asking around -- with examples of particular instances where one&aposs management style rubbed people the wrong way.

　　按照弗雷德伯格的理解，任何被称作“专横”(或“粗鲁”)的人都应该认真搞清别人为什么这么想。她建议这些人带上具体的事例，也就是那些因为管理风格惹毛别人的例子，去寻求诚实的反馈——无论是通过正式的全面评估，还是非正式地问问周围的人。

　　"Most of your coworkers are only too happy to tell you" where you could change or improve, she notes. "Just don&apost be densive. Really listen to what they&aposre telling you." Then try to do less of whatever it is that comes across as "bossy" (or bullying).

　　她说，“大多数同事都会很高兴地告诉你”可以在哪里做出变化和改进。“不要辩解。真正听听他们说了些什么。”然后试着少做些显得“专横”(或者以权压人)的事情。

　　In rare instances, she adds, she has met women whose authority is resented no matter what they do or how they do it, at which point it may well be time to move to a different company, perhaps one with more women in high places. "It could be a bad cultural fit," she says. "But usually, if people in one organization object to the way you&aposre communicating with them, you&aposll get the same reaction wherever you go." If that&aposs the case, then simply ignoring being called "bossy," as your officemates say they do, could be the riskiest way to deal with it.

　　她补充道，她也碰到过一些罕见的情况，无论女性做了什么，怎么做，在行使权力时都会遭到怨恨。这时你可能应该换一家公司，比如那些有更多女性身居高位的公司。她说：“这种情况表示你与那家公司的文化格格不入。但是通常情况下，如果某家单位的人不满意你跟他们交流的方式，无论你去别的哪家公司，人们对你的反应其实都会一个样。”如果是这样，简单地忽视同事对你的“强势”评价可能是最冒险的解决方法。