这15件事不必向他人解释!.

　　Many choices we make in life—ranging from what we do, to how we conduct ourselves, and who we interact with—are subject to prying questions and commentary from those around us. Family members, friends, and even total strangers, it often seems like everyone has an opinion on the things we do, no matter how small or insignificant those things might seem to us.

　　生活中，我们会做出多种选择，此时，身边的人难免想打听打听，或是评论评论。我们的所作所为、个人表现、人际交往都难逃此劫。再微不足道的事，人人也想来说两句，家人、朋友如此，连陌生人亦是如此。

　　Sometimes people go so far as to ask you to explain yourself for the decisions or choices you make in your own life. You might feel obliged to respond, but some things are really no one else’s business and you don’t owe anyone an explanation at all for the following 15 things—though you think you do.

　　有时候，有人毫无分寸，问你，为什么做这个决定，为什么这样选择自己的生活。你大概觉得你不能不回答，但有些事与旁人无关，你不欠任何人一个解释，即使你觉得有解释的必要。以下15件事就是如此。

　　1.You don't owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.

　　你怎么住，不欠别人一个解释

　　Whether you are cohabiting with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, crashing in different motel rooms across the country, or living with your parents for a while when you are past your twenties, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for who you live with and why if you don’t want to. If you are fully aware of your living situation, then it means you have your own reasons for being in that situation that are nobody else’s business.

　　跟前男友(或前女友)同居也罢，周游全国在各个汽车旅馆凑合也罢，20出头时跟父母一起住一段时间也罢，你不必跟任何人解释。只要你不愿解释，那么跟谁住、原因又是什么，都无须多言。如果你完全清楚自己的居住状况，那么可见你这么做自有原因。而这，不关别人的事。

　　2.You don't owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.

　　你生活重心放在哪，不欠别人一个解释

　　You have your own ideas about the things that would make you and your loved ones truly comfortable and happy, which is your main priority. Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams and aspirations, your core priorities will be different from the next person’s. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life. That is your personal business not other people’s business.

　　我们的生活重心大多是让自己和所爱的人过得舒心幸福，而舒心幸福的关键是什么，每人有自己都见解。人人都是独立的个体，价值观、梦想、抱负不尽相同，一个人的生活重心也不同于另一个人。所以，你的生活重心放在哪，不欠别人一个解释。这是你的私事，与旁人无关。

　　3.You don't owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.

　　如果你没错，你不欠别人一个道歉

　　If you don’t regret your actions, still think someone is wrong about something or don’t care much for their forgiveness, you don’t have to apologize. Many people are too quick to offer apologies and try to mend wounds that are not yet ready to be mended, which only serves to aggravate the wound and bring more problems. You really don’t have to apologize if you are not sorry or your side of the story hasn’t been heard.

　　如果你不后悔自己的所作所为，如果你仍觉得某件事错在对方，或者你并不在乎对方的谅解，那么你无须道歉。许多人太急着道歉，希求弥补双方的裂痕，殊不知还不到弥补的时候，过于急切的道歉反而会让裂痕更深，事态更严重。如果你觉得自己没错，或对方尚未倾听你的解释，那么你无须道歉。

　　4.You don’t owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.

　　你想一个人静一静，不欠别人一个解释

　　You might worry that you will come across as “rude,” “anti-social” or “aloof” when you cancel plans or other obligations because you need some time alone to reboot, unwind or just enjoy a good book by yourself. However, spending time alone is a completely normal, natural and necessary practice that more people should adopt. Take your alone time confidently because you don’t owe anybody an explanation for it.

　　如果你取消原定计划，或卸下某些职责，想一个人静静，重新振作，放松身心，或一个人读本好书，你可能担心被贴上“无礼”“不爱交际”“冷漠”的标签。然而，独处是再正常不过、再自然不过的事，也非常有必要，应该有更多的人学会独处。心安理得享受独处时光吧，因为你不欠任何人一个解释。

　　5.You don't owe anyone your agreement on their personal belis.

　　别人的想法，你不一定要认同

　　Just because someone shares their personal belis passionately doesn’t mean you have to sit there and nod in approval to everything they say. If you don’t share in their belis, it is unfair to yourself and to the other person to suppress your own thoughts and feelings and pretend you agree with them. It’s okay and better to disagree with them gracully instead of bottling up your disapproval and frustrations.

　　别人激动不已地跟你分享个人想法时，你不一定要坐着不动，点头认同他们的每一句话。如果你并不认同对方的观点，那么不要压抑自己的想法和情绪，不要假装赞同对方，因为这对你和对方都不公平。与其压抑自己的不同意见和沮丧情绪，不如优雅地表达自己的不同见解。

　　6.You don’t owe anyone a yes to everything they say.

　　不是别人说什么，你就一定要照做

　　You have a right to say no whenever there is no compelling reason to say yes. In fact, the most successful people in the world are those who have mastered the art of saying no to everything that is not a priority. Acknowledge other people’s kindness and be gratul for it, but don’t be afraid to politely decline anything that takes your focus away from your core goals and priorities. That’s how to get ahead.

　　如果没有什么不得已的原因，那么你有权说不。其实，世上的成功人士大都懂得拒绝的艺术，会拒绝不重要的事。你可以接受别人的善意，然后心怀感恩，但不要因此而不敢拒绝，不敢婉拒那些分散你的目标和重心的琐事。想成功，你要懂得拒绝。

　　7.You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.

　　你的外貌如何，不欠别人一个解释

　　You might be slender, plump, tall, short, pretty, plain or whatever, but you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for why you look how you do. Your physical appearance is your own business and you are obligated only to yourself. Physical appearance shouldn’t determine your self-worth.

　　你可能苗条，也可能丰满;你可能高大，也可能矮小;你可能美丽，也可能相貌平平，但无论如何，你长得怎样，无须向别人解释。你的外貌是自己的事，只须对自己负责。外貌不能决定你的个人价值。

　　8.You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your food prerences.

　　你不爱吃什么，不欠别人一个解释

　　There are certain foods that you just don’t like at all for different reasons, including taste prerence and health issues. You don’t have to explain to anyone at all why you prer certain foods. Your food prerence is a matter that is best lt to you. If anyone pesters you about why you are eating (or not eating) certain foods, shrug it off and just say you feel better eating (or not eating) those foods.

　　总有些食物你不爱吃，原因各种各样，比如，不喜欢这个口味，或者这种食物不利于身体健康。你选择什么样的食物，无须向他人解释。饮食喜好交给自己就好。如果有人总是纠缠不休，问你为什么吃(或不吃)某些东西，你就耸耸肩，说我就是觉得吃点(不吃)比较好。

　　9.You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.

　　你的性生活如何，不欠别人一个解释

　　As long as it happens with another consenting adult, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for where, when and how you conduct your sex life. You can wait for marriage, try one-night stands or experiment with same sex encounters to your heart’s pleasure and still not have to explain your sexual prerences to anybody.

　　只要和你发生关系的不是未成年人，你何时、何地、如何展开了你的性生活，这些都无须向别人解释。你可以等结婚时再体验性生活，可以尝试一夜情，也可以随心体验同性间的性生活，并不须要谁解释你的性取向。

　　10.You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.

　　你选择工作还是个人生活，不欠别人一个解释

　　Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and “having a life.” The decision is not always easy and you might end up choosing work, not because you don’t care about your family or social life, but because you are working on something that will give you security in the future. Either way, you don’t owe others an explanation for choosing a career over your personal life (or vice versa) as long as you are confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

　　有时，我们不得不在工作和生活中抉择。这个选择很艰难，也许你最后选择了工作，这并非由于你不关心家人或社交，而是因为你的工作以后能给你带来保障。只要对自己的选择有信心，对做出选择的理由有信心，那么无论你选择工作还是个人生活，都不欠任何人一个解释。

　　11.You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.

　　你持何种宗教信仰和政治观点，不欠别人一个解释

　　Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, that is your own personal choice. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are what you are and believe what you believe. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, that is their personal dogma—not yours.

　　你是民主党也好，共和党也罢;你是天主教教徒、新教教徒也好，穆斯林教徒也罢，都是你的个人选择。你无须向任何人解释你怎样成为了现在的你，也无须解释你如何拥有了这种信仰。如果有人不接纳这样的你，那是出于他们的个人信条，而不是你的，你无须解释。

　　12.You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being single.

　　你还单身，不欠别人一个解释

　　Whether you are single by design or by dault that is nobody’s business. Being single is not a personality disorder. You are free to be in a relationship or not. Besides, you are far more than your relationship status and singlehood is just one of those social labels no one should really care about.

　　无论你是有意选择了单身，还是不得已，都不关别人的事。单身又不是人格障碍，恋不恋爱是你的自由。再说，除了感情状况，你还有许多值得关注的地方，“单身”这个社会标签谁都不该过多关注。

　　13.You don’t owe anyone a date just because they asked.

　　别人约你，你不是一定要答应

　　Someone might be nice, good looking and you may even be a little interested, but you don’t owe them a date just because they ask. If you feel deep down you don’t want to go on that date, then don’t. You may offer a reason for declining, but keep it bri and stick to your decision.

　　也许对方人很好，长得也不错，甚至还有点风趣，但并不是他约了你，你就一定要答应。如果你内心深处其实不想赴约，那就别答应。说个拒绝的理由吧，简短一点，不要动摇自己的决定。

　　14.You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.

　　你婚姻状况如何，不欠别人一个解释

　　Whether or not you choose to get married and have kids or stay unmarried and be childfree, that is your own personal decision. Even your mom who is dying for grandchildren should understand that marriage is a personal decision and not suited for everyone. She should respect your decision about it no matter how hard it is to swallow.

　　你是选择结婚生子，还是不婚不生孩子，都是你的个人选择。你妈妈就算再渴望抱孙子，也要谅解，因为婚姻是个人选择，并不一定适合所有人。无论多难接受，她都应该尊重你的决定。

　　15.You don't owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.

　　你选择了什么样的恋人，不欠别人一个解释

　　Sometimes people make inappropriate commentary about your romantic relationship(s), which is really none of their business. You might overhear comments like you are not the “perfect couple” or you should find someone else. However, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for your relationship choices. Live your life and never, ever leave or stay in a relationship just because someone else says you have to. Make your own mistakes if you must, but learn from them always.

　　有时，人们会对你的恋情发表不恰当的评论，其实这不关他们的事。你也许曾偶尔听到别人说，你们“不太合适”，或者你该找别人。然而，在你的恋情中，除了你自己，你无须对任何人做出回应。好好过你的生活，绝不要因为别人的说法而开始或结束一段感情。如果这真的是个错误，那就犯错吧，只要你能从中有所成长。