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Imagine you’ve met someone you really like. You talk to them, you feel there is a connection, you’ve somehow gotten their number and you’ve bravely broken the ice with a text you’ve spent the last hour composing.
想象一下你对某人一见钟情。你跟他们搭讪,你感觉你们之间应当保持联络,你费尽心思得到了他们的电话号码,而后鼓起勇气打破僵局,给他们发送了一条你花了一个小时编辑的短信。
It’s a scenario so many of us are painfully familiar with. But what may or may not come next, i.e. a satisfactory reply, is often the cause of much analysis and anxiety.
我们大多数人都对这种情况深有感触。但是接下来可能或者是不可能会发生的事情往往才是胡思乱想和焦头烂额的原因,例如,收到了一个满意的回复。
The staring at your phone, checking to see if said phone works, wondering if your love interest is on holiday somewhere remote or fallen down a man hole - or if they don’t reciprocate your strength of feeling. Waiting for a reply is one of those things we can’t control.
你不停地盯着手机看,检查手机是否正常运行,猜想你的意中人是在偏远之地度假还是已经喜欢上别的人了,或者又是他们是否对你无感。等待回复是我们无法控制的一件事情。
We place a lot of importance on texts, reply times and what we read between the lines of a text. But should we be reading into this?
我们会对短信内容、回复时间以及字里行间都十分看重。但是我们至于这样吗?
Giving some insight into this matter is relationship psychologist Dr. Max Blumberg, who has spoken to MirrorOnline about what it means when someone takes too long to reply - or replies very quickly.
关系心理学家马克斯·布卢姆伯格博士对此事进行了观察,他向《镜报在线》解释了慢回和速回都意味着什么。
According to Dr. Blumberg, there is indeed a correlation between the time it takes someone to text you, and their strength of feeling.
根据布卢姆伯格博士的说法,回复短信时间的长短确实与他们对你的好感存在联系。
"If someone fancies you, the chances are they will get back to you quickly".
“如果一个人对你有好感,那么他就会很快回复你的信息。”
The rapidity with which people do reply is more of a modern phenomenon however, as Dr Blumberg explains.
然而,根据布卢姆伯格博士的说法,人们快速回复更是现代社会的一种现象。
"People get back to you quickly because we’re constantly dealing with incoming stimuli. We’re always ’on’ and no longer live in age of delayed gratification."
“人们快速回复你的信息是因为我们在不停地处理外部的刺激。我们一直处于‘在线’状态,且不再生活在一个延迟享乐的社会。”
"On the other hand, if another person does take their time, it does not bode well. But there’s nothing you can do about it "
“另一方面,若对方不慌不忙地回复你的短信,这就不是一个好兆头了。但是,你也于事无补。”
"What we do is we subconsciously rate people on metrics like attractiveness, wealth, personality, status, style, IQ, emotional intelligence, kindness and empathy, and social liabilities.
“我们的所作所为即是我们的潜意识对对方的评价,度量尺度有魅力、财富、性格、地位、风度、智商、情商、善良和同情心,以及社交责任心。”
So if you score someone highly, and subconsciously feel you’re both a good match, your reply would be very quickly.
因此,如果你对一个人的评价很高,并且潜意识地认为你们是天作之合,那么你就会速回短信。
Amy GUO 经验: 16年 案例:4272 擅长:美国,澳洲,亚洲,欧洲
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