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Charlotte Song, a 24-year-old human resource specialist in Beijing, was bored when she overheard some of her colleagues gossiping about why Yang Zi, 24, a Chinese actress, and Zhang Yishan, 24, a Chinese actor, had not become lovers after being very good friends since they were teenagers. "Really, such a fuss," she said.
24岁的宋小姐是北京的一位人事专员,其身边的同事都纷纷对24岁演员杨紫和同岁的张一山为何认识了那么多年却没有成为恋人这件事津津乐道。宋小姐本人却对此事丝毫提不起兴趣,她认为这简直是在替别人瞎操心。
A sequel to Home With Kids, a 2005 hit drama that Yang and Zhang co-starred in when they were 13 years old, is beginning production and a lot of people are discussing the relationship between the two stars.
情景喜剧《家有儿女》早在2005年开播,当时年仅13岁的杨紫和张一山共同参演此剧,分别饰演重组家庭中的姐姐和弟弟。自第一部以来,两人的关系就一直为外界讨论。
Song does not understand why so many people think there must be something romantic going on between two friends of the opposite sex and that it would be unbelievable if they do not turn into lovers.
宋小姐并不能理解为何人们都认为两个异性好朋友就一定存在恋人的成分,也不能理解为何两人如果不成情侣就仿佛是多不可置信的事情一样。
She and her male friend Jack Zhang have been best friends for more than 10 years. "We never tried to be lovers and are still happy together."
宋小姐和张先生是十年的异性朋友,对此她表示:“我们并不是恋人,但是我们相处地很愉快。”
According to her, from university, they each began to date. Most of the time, she has her boyfriend and Zhang has his girlfriend. There were times when they were both single, but even then, they were still best friends.
据宋小姐透露,自己和张先生自大学起就是好朋友。两人曾经有一段时间各自都有另一半,也有各自都单身的时候,但即使这样两人的友谊也从未改变。
However, she conceded that she once had the thought that it might be nice for them to become lovers.
然而,宋小姐也承认自己确实萌生过想要升华革命友谊成为情侣的念头。
"After all, we know each other well. He can tell what I’m thinking just from my eyes and I can tell from his," she said. "But I was afraid that if we did become lovers but broke up, I would lose my best friend at the same time."
“毕竟我们彼此都很了解对方,他透过我的眼神就知道我在想什么,我也是一样。”宋小姐说道,“但是我担心万一有一天我们分手了,我会失去这个曾经最好的朋友。”
Besides this, she did not make her move because she did not have the feeling of falling in love when they were together. "When we hang out together, my heart does not beat as fast as it did as when I dated my exes," she said. "I guess, maybe we are more like family to each other."
除这方面考虑之外,宋小姐还坦言,之所以并没有更进一步还因为自己对他并没有情侣之间来电的感觉。“和他一起逛街的时候,我并没有和我前男友在一起时心动的感觉,”宋小姐如是说道,“或许我们更适合做家人吧。”
There have been many debates on the Internet concerning whether there is pure friendship between men and women, but opinions are divided.
事实上,网上曾针对男友之间有无纯友谊这一话题展开了热烈讨论,但是所得出的意见却是各不相同。
According to Pan Ming, a psychologist and founder of Yiming Psychological Counseling Center based in Qingdao, Shandong Province, no pure friendship exists between men and women from a biological standpoint. He said, even if there is, it may be temporary and tends to evolve into a romantic relationship.
据山东青岛翳明心理咨询中心的心理学家潘明所说,从生物学的角度来讲,男女之间并无纯友谊。即使这种关系真的存在,也可能只是暂时不明,久而久之会慢慢进化成情侣关系。
However, he added, from an ethical perspective, if the two parties cherish their friendship and do not surrender themselves to emotional impulses, it is likely that the pure friendship can be maintained.
然而,潘明还提到,从伦理的角度来说,如果双方极力想珍惜彼此之间的友谊,并不想将关系更进一步,或许可以维持男女之间的纯友谊。
Pan said although best friends turning into couples has an advantage as they have had a good understanding of each other, which is the basis of a stable relationship or marriage, it is at the same time risky.
潘明表示,虽然从好朋友转为情侣具有彼此事先了解对方的优势,可以作为关系稳定甚至今后步入婚姻殿堂的基础,但与此同时,这种关系还存在一定风险。
According to him, a romantic relationship is harder to sustain than friendship. "The two parties need to prepare themselves for any possible twists and turns. Also, they will have different expectations for each other as they turn into a couple, and if they are not fully prepared for the challenges, they can easily feel disappointed."
按照潘明的观点,相对友谊来讲,情侣之间的关系似乎更加难以维持。“情侣双方需要随时准备接受可能遇到的分歧和波折。同时,一旦他们确定情侣关系,两人对彼此的期望会进一步提高,如果不能对未来即将遇到的挑战有足够心理准备的话,两人非常容易厌倦对方。”
Song feels relieved that she did not try to turn her friendship into a romance because she knew she was not ready for being anything other than a best friend.
宋小姐很庆幸自己并没有和张先生更进一步,因为她明白自己只想和他保持最好的朋友关系,再无其他。
She conceded that if she rushed into it, she might feel very disappointed if he ever fails to meet her expectation for a good boyfriend, and she may lose him for good if things go wrong.
她表示如果当时自己头脑发热,和张先生成为情侣,如果对方达不到自己的期望,她会非常失望,那么届时她很可能会永远失去这个朋友。
"Now, as best friends, we are always happy together because we do not fight about failing to live up to the other’s standard for a good boyfriend or girlfriend," said Song. "I think we are better off just being good friends."
“现在我们就是好朋友的关系,在一起时非常开心,不用以男朋友或女朋友的标准要求对方,倒也轻松自在,”宋小姐说道,“这样的关系挺好。”
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