GMAT作文点评与分析(六).

　　在GMAT作文的备考过程中，考生需要在大量的练习中不断提升自己的逻辑思维能力和语言表达能力，并通过参照模板来改进GMAT作文的写作方式，以达到提高GMAT作文写作水平的目的。下面澳际留学就来为大家提供一些GMAT作文的点评以及范例。更多相关问题可咨询澳际留学在线专家，如果有任何意见和建议，也请联系我们。

第六题

　　The following appeared as part of an article in a magazine devoted to regional life:

　　“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historical y it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”

　　Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

　　题目翻译

　　企业在寻找新的商机或位置时应该去Helios城。甚至在最近的衰退中，Helios的失业率也比地区平均水平低，它是地区的工业中心，历史上它提供的比它在地区制造业工作中分享的份额中更多。而且，Helios正试图通过吸引研究和发展革新技术的公司来扩张它的经济基础。

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　　逻辑漏洞

　　1、无因果：低失业率和是否在该地投资没有题中所说的关系，即使真的有，也是负向的关系，因为比如有less available work force。企业必须提高wage才能吸引他们。提高了COST。

　　2、差异概念：H地industrial and manufacturing比较attractive，所以那里的工人很可能只适合做这类的，如果缺乏能够做innovative technologies and research的工人labor pool，那么很可能导致失败

　　3、外推：错误的假设过去的成功能够代表未来，比方说已经饱和的资源、过分的竞争、以及可能出现的错误政策，都可能导致H地区的经济不再发达。

　　范文(非出自本人之手，故非严格按照上述逻辑)

　　In this argument corporations are urged to consider the city of Helios when seeking a new location or new business opportunities. To support this recommendation, the author points out that Helios is the industrial center of the region, providing most of the region’s manufacturing jobs and enjoying a lower-than-average unemployment rate. Moreover, it is argued, forts are currently underway to expand the economic base of the city by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. This argument is problematic for two reasons.

　　To begin with, it is questionable whether the available labor pool in Helios could support all types of corporations. Given that Helios has attracted mainly industrial and manufacturing companies in the past, it is unlikely that the local pool of prospective employees would be suitable for corporations of other types. For example, the needs of research and development companies would not be met by a labor force trained in manufacturing skills. For this reason, it’s unlikely that Helios will be successful in its attempt to attract companies that focus or research and development of innovative technologies.

　　Another problem with the available work force is its size. Due to the lower than average unemployment rate in Helios, corporations that require large numbers of workers would not find Helios attractive. The fact that few persons are out of work suggests that new corporations will have to either attract new workers to Helios or pay the existing workers higher wages in order to lure them away from their current jobs. Neither of these alternatives seems enticing to companies seeking to relocate.

　　In conclusion, the author has not succeeded in providing compelling reasons for selecting Helios as the site for a company wishing to relocate. In fact, the reasons offered function better as reasons for not relocating to Helios. Nor has the author provided compelling reasons for companies seeking new business opportunities to choose Helios.

　相关链接：

1.二战GMAT 760分考生谈GMAT作文

2.GMAT考试成功感言：关于作文

3.GMAT一战740分考生论作文