GMAT作文点评与分析(九).

　　在GMAT作文的备考过程中，考生需要在大量的练习中不断提升自己的逻辑思维能力和语言表达能力，并通过参照模板来改进GMAT作文的写作方式，以达到提高GMAT作文写作水平的目的。下面澳际留学就来为大家提供一些GMAT作文的点评以及范例。更多相关问题可咨询澳际留学在线专家，如果有任何意见和建议，也请联系我们。

9.The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:

　　“On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.”

　　Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

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　　财经杂志的意见栏：

　　一般而言，中年消费者的零售消费额的39%用于专卖店的商品何服务。而在年轻一些的消费者中这一比例仅有25%。由于中年消费者的数量在下一10年中将大幅增长，专卖店可以预期他们的销售额会有大幅增长。进一步，为利用这一趋势，这些店应该开始将一些吸引年轻消费者的商品替换为吸引中年消费者的商品。

　　1.The absolute value of consumption should be given by the author.

　　2.all things are equal

　　3.Whether the increase of profit gained by attracting more middle-aged consumers will be offset

　　4.by the reduction of profit because of the loss of young consumers.

　　Sample essay 1:

　　The argument that department retail sales will increase in the next 10 years and thus department stores should begin to replace products to attract middle-aged consumers is not entirely logically convincing, since it omits certain crucial assumptions

　　First of all, the argument ignores the absolute amount of retail expenditure of middle-aged and younger consumers devoted to department store products and services. Although younger consumers spend a smaller percentage of their retail expenditure to department store products than do the middle-aged consumers, they might actually spend more in terms of theabsolute amount.

　　Even if middle-aged consumers are spending more than younger ones in department stores, the argument ignores the possibility that the trend may change within the next decade. Younger consumers might prer to shop in department stores than in other types of stores, and middle-aged consumers might turn to other types of stores, too. This will lead to a higher expenditure of younger consumers in department stores than that of middle-aged consumers.

　　Besides, the argument never addresses the population difference between middle-aged consumers and younger ones. Suppose there are more younger consumers than the middle-aged ones now, the total population base of younger consumers will be bigger than that of the middle-aged ones if both of them grow at the same rate in the next decade. Thus there will be a bigger younger consumer base.

　　Based on the reasons I listed above, the argument is not completely sound. The evidence in support of the conclusion does little to prove the conclusion since it does not address the assumptions I have already raised. Ultimately, the argument might have been more convincing by making it clear that the absolute population of middle-aged consumers are higher than that of the younger consumers and the number will continue to grow in the next decade, and that the middle-aged consumers will continue to spend more money in department stores than younger consumers do in the next decade.

　相关链接：

1.GMAT作文点评与分析(八)

2.五大步骤帮你拿下GMAT作文

3.GMAT一战740分考生论作文