GMAT考试作文机经 7月10日更新（六）.

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　　7.

　　原始寂静：

　　V1(BY: 无尽的轮回) 一个健身中心因为开了新游泳池，增加了他的会员人数导致收入增加，故中心打算新开多个其他的活动场所，并让这种广泛的活动场所成为一个有力的优势

　　原题：

　　The following appeared as part of a business plan created by the management of the Take Heart Fitness Center.

　　“After opening the new swimming pool early last summer, Take Heart saw a 12 percent increase in the use of the center by members. Therore, in order to increase the number of our members and thus our revenues, which depend on membership fees, we should continue to add new recreational facilities in subsequent years: for example, a multipurpose game room, a tennis court, and a miniature golf course. Being the only center in the area offering this range of activities would give us a competitive advantage in the health and recreation market.”

　　Take Heart健身中心的管理者起草的商业计划：

　　去年夏天开了新的游泳池以后，TH发现会员对中心的使用率增加了12%。因此，为了增加我们的会员数量来增加收入，我们应该在以后几年中继续增加新的娱乐设施：比如，一个多功能游戏室，一个网球场，一个迷你高尔夫球场。作为本地唯一一家提供各种活动的健身中心，我们将在健身和娱乐市场建立竞争优势。

　　参考思路：

　　1.首先，认为会员使用游泳池的数量增加就能增加会员人数是没有根据的。错误的建立了这两者的关系。也许去年夏天特别的热，所以大家天天都来游泳，或者新游泳池设施齐全服务好，所以会员们都放弃了去别的地方游泳的选择。但是不能就直接说明这和会员人数会增加有什么因果关系。

　　2.全时对等。认为去年发生的事情同样也会发生在将来，没有根据。不能证明说他们会有同样的结果。

　　3.认为增加游乐场所就能增加会员和利润没有根据。顾客除了要求更多新颖的游乐设施，对服务的要求和会员fee也很重要，其他游乐场所降低会员费，提供coupon，bonus，price advantage之类的同样也有竞争力;此外还忽略了增加这么多的游乐设施要投入的成本很大，也许最后收入还不及投入的成本多，反而使利润下降。

　　参考范文：

　　Because Take Heart Fitness Center experienced a 12 percent increase in member usage as a result of opening a new swimming pool last summer, the author recommends the addition of new recreational facilities in subsequent years as a means of increasing membership in Take Heart. The author’s recommendation is problematic for several reasons.

　　First, and foremost, the author assumes that an increase in member usage portends an increase in membership. This assumption may hold true in some cases. However, it is unlikely to hold true in the case at hand, because it is reasonable to expect that members would visit the fitness center to inspect and try out the new swimming pool. This would account for the increase in usage. However, since the author provides no evidence that this new rate of usage was sustained, the abrupt increase in usage provides little evidence that the addition of facilities such as the pool will attract new members.

　　Second, the author assumes that the addition of the swimming pool was responsible for the increase in member usage. However, the only evidence for this claim is insufficient to establish the causal claim in question. While temporal precedence is one of the conditions required to establish a causal relationship between two events, by itself it is not a sufficient condition. Consequently, it is possible that the addition of the pool was unrelated to the increase in usage in the manner required by the author’s argument.

　　Finally, the author has provided no evidence to support the contention that Take Heart will be the only center in the area to offer a wide range of activities to its members and thus have a competitive advantage in the fitness market.

　　In conclusion, the author’s beli that adding additional recreational facilities will increase Take Heart’s membership is ill-founded. To strengthen the argument the author would have to provide evidence that member usage is reliable indicator of new membership. Additionally, it would be necessary to show that the cause of the increase in usage was the opening of the new pool.

　相关链接：

1.790分考生谈GMAT考试突破心得：GMAT作文

2.GMAT考试作文机经 7月10日更新（五）

3.简单归纳GMAT写作中的常见规律