名师评点：4分雅思写作都犯了哪些错？.

　　雅思写作的满分是9分，一般来说要想申请不错的国外大学的话雅思成绩最好是7分或者7分以上，相对雅思口语来说，雅思写作也不是中国学生的弱项，因此中国考生最好拿到7分以上，否则很有可能会拖累雅思的分数，下面一篇只有4分的雅思作文例子，澳际培训老师也将从细节方面对文中出现的丢分点进行分析。

　　Topic:

　　Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

　　According to universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Therore, this essay will show some reasons of argument for and argument against.

　　Firstly, I will discuss about two reasons of argument for to begin with universities should accept equal numbrs of male and female students in every subject because it will be balance of idea while studying. In general, there usually are different ideas between man and woman. These lead to new ideas from different vision will happen. Another reason is it display that have equal of society not eccept in each side. In addition, nowadays, the most societies become to accept ability of both in any way.

　　Secondly, I will discuss about one reason of arguments against that is some subjects not suitable for each other. for example, some subjects of sports such as weight putting. It is not suitable for female because there are different of body between male and female.

　　In conclusion, I agree with universities should accept equal numbers of male an female students in every subject. Moreover, it depend on what the subjects that the students want to study, they can choose by themselves because I believe that if the students like to study their subjects, they will do it well so that I strongly agree with this topic.

　　澳际培训老师点评4分的主要失分点：

　　首先，该同学在语法上的缺陷是致命的，多数句子都不符合英语句子结构的要求，如：These lead to new ideas from different vision will happen. Lead to已经是谓语动词了，后面再出现will happen就是错误的，要知道后一个动词需要采取去动词性质处理：This will lead to new ideas from different perspectives happening 其实这句话也很罗嗦，完全可以改成：This will lead to a wider variety of ideas.

　　另外一句： Another reason is it display that have equal of society not eccept in each side. 更是无法理解了， is, display, have 及accept 统统是动词形态在句子中出现，但又没有从句将这些动词分开，最终连成功解密过无数学生天书的我也不能理解他究竟想讲什么了。

　　非常不幸的是在中国庞大的考鸭军团中，有1/2以上的考鸭们写出来的英语句子与这位考生写的同样晦涩难懂。如果你的英语句子也存在这样的基本语法错误的话，我的建议是赶紧花上3-4天的时间解决这个问题，然后再move on到雅思写作上。

　　写作建议NO.1：Write in an English way, and make your examiner smile J

　　按照英文的语法句式写英文句子。

　　其次，这篇文章的论证逻辑混乱：第二段他想表达的是招同样数量的男女生的好处，第三段要写专业的不同会导致招收同样数量的男女生是不现实的，最后收尾段写道：最终我同意应该招收同样数量的男女生。从上面的两段看下来，最后一段要写的应该是partially agree with the topic 才对—如果专业有较强的性别取向性，那么该topic不成立;如果专业对于两性来说同样的，那么一半对一半的搭配是值得推荐的。

　　写作建议NO.2: Have your conclusion based on what you have expressed rather than what you have conceived.

　　你的结论来自你的文章内容，而不是你脑子中凭空构思出的。

　　4分的雅思写作分数会很大程度上地拖累均分，从以上澳际培训老师的分析也可以看出，雅思写作很大的丢分点会在语法以及中国式英语上，总之，雅思写作的重点就是要有地道的英语，同时整篇文章的逻辑和主线要清晰。

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