悉尼大学商学国贸双硕士毕业,现居澳洲,在澳学习生活15+年,从事教育咨询工作超过10年,澳洲政府注册教育顾问,上千成功升学转学签证案例,定期受邀亲自走访澳洲各类学校
您所在的位置: 首页> 新闻列表> 美国留学申请Essay写作范文(七).
Undergraduate College Application Essay Sample 6
I used to be a pretty deep guy.I watched foreign films, read Nietzsche, and stayed up all night “contemplating jazz”.I was Jack Kerouac living in a fire hut on top of Desolation Peak.I was Gary Snyder seeking enlightenment in a Buddhist monastery in Thailand.I was Ken Kesey, Jimi Hendrix, and Timothy Leary all rolled up on one gigantic mess of pseudo-intellectual, adolescent, fancy boarding school beat poet wannabe.I was a moron.
I blew off my schoolwork not because I was lazy, but because I thought that schoolwork was shallow, too insignificant for me, the vivacious intellectual, the dharma bum, the Zen lunatic wanderer.How could my teachers expect me to do their homework, when life around me was all so futile, so meaningless?I was sure that I was a tortured soul destined to lead a life full of angst and pain.
That was last fall, more than a year ago now.In February of last year, I lt my hipster friends and their coffeehouse conversations behind, to move back to the suburbs of Philadelphia and my conservative, unhip public high school.Suburban Philadelphia is not the easiest place in the world to be sixties cool and stylish.There aren’t many smoke-filled coffeehouses or hippie wanderers.It’s clean here, upper middle class-you know, the Ford Explorer, Saturday evening Mass, country club for dinner scene.I came back to Philadelphia because it isn’t all that “hip,” because there is nothing “profound” to do.I came home to get myself together.It was time to grow up.
I’m not as cool as I used to be.I never do anything very exciting or off the wall, at least not by my old standards.My friends from boarding school have for the most part become nothing more than distant memories.They’re all off in New York City or Mexico pretending to work on their spirituality, but really just partying their lives away.I stay home a lot.I’m at the library a couple of nights a week.I read, I write letters, I do some painting.
Last weekend, I watchedThe Color Purple with my mom, collected some weather data for a chemistry project, and had a tea party with my little sister.I’ve been spending time with the people I met in my high school production of Arsenic and Old Lace, too.I feel balanced; I feel like myself.I no longer want to tend bar in Tangiers or meditate in Sri Lanka . . . all right, maybe I do, but not right now.For so long, I wanted to be other people, to be a cultural icon, a legend in my own time.But in reality, I’m nothing like Keith Richards.Honestly, I’m a little scared of sex and drugs.I worry about pimples, whether my parents are still happily married, where I’m going to be next year.
I came home, I grew up, I got my life back together.I’m still trying to find a balance, but I no longer feel like a reckless child.I was sure that I could get away from myself by just pretending that I was someone else.But right now, I’m not looking to be “on the road”.I’m pretty happy being right where I am.
Things to Notice about This Essay
1.The story this writer tells seems sincere.It explains things from his transcript:a change of schools, improving grades.
2.The essay expects the reader to know all the rerences here to people (Gary Snyder, Keith Richards) and literature (On the Road, Dharma Bums, the line from poet Allen Ginsberg about “contemplating jazz”).The writer has a real depth of knowledge, which is good, but in some of these rerences, he may be expectingtoo little but in some of these rerences, he may be expecting a little too much from the reader. . . who won’t be 17.
3.The essay has a clear focus (“It was time to grow up”), extensive use of specifics and descriptive details, and a strong sense of a writer who has thought about his life experiences.
4.The essay doesn’t follow a traditional organization pattern and there are a few liberties with word choice and spelling (“wannabe”).A bit of a “risk”, this essay does match a writer who himself has taken chances.He tells his story with grace and conviction.
Amy GUO 经验: 16年 案例:4272 擅长:美国,澳洲,亚洲,欧洲
本网站(www.aoji.cn,刊载的所有内容,访问者可将本网站提供的内容或服务用于个人学习、研究或欣赏,以及其他非商业性或非盈利性用途,但同时应遵守著作权法及其他相关法律规定,不得侵犯本网站及相关权利人的合法权利。除此以外,将本网站任何内容或服务用于其他用途时,须征得本网站及相关权利人的书面许可,并支付报酬。
本网站内容原作者如不愿意在本网站刊登内容,请及时通知本站,予以删除。