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留学个人陈述PS,避免这6种开头.

刚刚更新 编辑: 浏览次数:275 移动端

  个人简历是留学申请文书中非常重要的一部分,往往成为申请人是否被录取的关键。那么,暂且不提怎样的文书才能从芸芸的文书大军中推脱颖而出,单来讲一讲怎么的文书开头能不被招生委员会一眼PASS掉,那么,避免以下这六种开头吧。

  1. 救世主型

  I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems bore me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man&aposs endeavor, … He must ever be receptive and sensitive to the new; and have sufficient courage and skill to novel facts and to deal with them." And I have been longing to be the man to face and solve novel problems.

  点评:一副救世主的形象,小时候就受富兰克林的影响,立志改变世界。Ps一定要personal,别吹大牛,甚至带着一种霸权思维。

  2. 犹抱琵琶型,拖泥带水

  Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.

  点评:重点放在自己要做重大决定上了,人生的转折点,然后来上句所谓名言警句。酝酿太久了。

  3. 重复简历型

  I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in …. in 2002 at … university, which provided me with a profound background in atmospheric science. During this period, I received Outstanding Student Scholarship for my excellent performance in the academic field. I found that ….is abstruse and interested, and there are so many things I did not understand. Thus I decided to learn more.

  点评:Ps不要去repeat简历中的东西。这在很多学校的ps要求中明确提到,比如讲述你自己的故事。

  4. 言幼稚型

  &aposWhy the gecko can climb on the wall while we can&apost?&apos &aposWhy the leaves turn red in autumn&apos &aposHow many stars are there in the sky?&apos When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。。。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle. So most of the things in my family has been takenapart by me, from my father&aposs shaver to my mom&apos motorcycle. I can even fix somesimple households, listened to other people&aposs praise, to learn science well became my dream and felt the science will accompany with me in my whole life.

  点评:上来就回忆童年少年自己如何有着远大抱负,who cares. Ps字数有限,却用这么多话描述童年,没有任何意义。

  5. 抄袭句式型

  As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since Ientered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.

  点评:Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 这种句式不知道是从哪里学到的,很多同学在用。

  6. 学校简介型

  I am an undergraduate in 。。 University , the largest university anda cradle of scientific and technological talents in China. (。。。 University is a prestigious university of general education with 20 departments and a regular annual enrollment of 8,000 students ) I studied at 。。。(E. E) Department, ahighly selective department with a gathering of smart students who are hard to compete with.

  点评:该同学的开头等于是一个学校的简介,这好像是在帮助学校做宣传,而不是写个人陈述了。觉得不过瘾,居然还用了括号。

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