英国商学院PS写作全解析 附2017华威拒信分析

摘要：近些年去英国读商科的中国学生越来越多，这是因为在英国，多数学生在高中就开始接触商科课程，这与各国对英国商科学历的高承认度、商科课程的高趣味性以及商科毕业生的就业优势是分不开的。

近些年去英国读商科的中国学生越来越多，这是因为在英国，多数学生在高中就开始接触商科课程，这与各国对英国商科学历的高承认度、商科课程的高趣味性以及商科毕业生的就业优势是分不开的。

伦敦商学院

华威大学

巴斯大学

牛津、剑桥大学商学院

伦敦政治经济学院

兰卡斯特大学管理学院

曼彻斯特商学院

诺丁汉大学

雷丁大学

对于申请这些顶尖商科学校的学生来说，语言成绩，专业成绩什么的固然重要，但是还有一个非常重要的方面会直接影响你能否被学校录取委员会录取，那就是文书的撰写，也就是我们说的personal statement。

首先以一封2017年华威大学的拒信给大家分析下英国商学院关于PS的撰写有什么忌讳：

如上图，是华威大学的一封拒信。正文翻译如下：

“基于以上专业(Degree of Master of Science ine-businessmanagement)的分析，我们认真看了您的申请信息。但是遗憾的，恐怕我们不能给您这个Offer.招生办公室的老师是基于我们的申请者是从多大程度上满足这个课程的入学要求的。另外，对于这个专业，今年的竞争非常激烈，入选者都很优秀。我们做出这个决定也是很艰难的。

然而对于您的申请，我们认为你并没有提供到一个令我们满意的个人陈述。(注意：我们现在的审核政策，不能够让您再提供一次修改过的PS，很抱歉。)谢谢您的支持。”

除了整个Offer信的客套话，我们可以看出学校已经明确指出了该学生的PS写的质量太差了。所以，很有可能是套用了模板或者就是毫无灵魂的大词长句。

个人陈述中，你应该谈到你本科所学到的，偏会计或金融的专业一定会涉及数学，所以千万不要忘记强调你通过这门学科学到的知识技能。

那么怎么样的Personal Statement才是英国大学认为真正好的呢?

每个人都是不一样的。所以，一个属于你自己的故事就可以是一个你的PS。由一个故事，写一下发生这个故事的感受，洞察力，通过这些就可以很好的展示你的内驱力和价值观，再升华到自己想要申请的这个学科。一个吸引人眼球的好故事，就是一个好的PS。

听过最残酷的一句话是‘你冷场只是因为你知识面不够’。是的，在准备写PS之前，广泛的阅读，平时的积累是很重要的。这样才可以在触及任何一个话题的时候，你才可以‘有话说’。这样任何的一个点，加上你建立在广泛阅读的基础上，你都可以有自己的一个批判性观点。这样丰富的PS，审核老师自然会喜欢你的PS啦。

关注你将要学习的新闻事实可以让你对自己想要学习的学有更深刻的解读。这样你的PS也必然是一个术业有专攻的有深度的有前瞻性的文书了。

什么是你的兴趣爱好呢。你在什么方便是很擅长的呢。你有做过只有少数人做过的事情么?这些都能够让你显得不同。比如：独立一个人去旅行;读一本很冷门的书。这些就是你的个人魅力。最后，所谓‘文如其人’，用自己的语言说话，不要故意使用大词长句，这会让文章显得生硬，也会让招生官怀疑这是照抄模板的结果，而不是发自内心自己的表达。很多机构会展示文书样本时强调用词的讲究，文法的严谨或结构的完整等等。殊不知真正高水平的文书总是在做减法，用词精炼拒绝冗长，少用复合句，字字珠玑，引经据典，用老外认可的方式来表达，这才是有竞争力的文书。

留学申请正如相亲，短短几分钟的寒暄如何让对方感到你的真爱，是一个好的留学文书必须达到的条件。因此文书中必须有相当篇幅介绍下自己选择这所大学的原因，切忌写你们排名高，诺贝尔奖得的多等等每个学生都会写的套话，每天关注学校网站，了解学校新闻，科研动态甚至文体活动等等，言之有物的说出你真爱的理由，自然会打动校方。

下面是华威大学官网上对于PS写作的要求和建议，比较中肯：

Personal Statement

Your Personal Statement is a vital part of your MSc application to WMG. Not only do we read it carully, we also think about what you say and how you say it. It helps us to decide if you will succeed and be happy at WMG.

Your Personal Statement gives us an opportunity to find out more about you. Therore, you should think of the Personal Statement as an opportunity to tell us about yourself and to highlight your strengths.

It is absolutely critical that you explain to us why you have applied for your chosen course; if you fail to do so your application will be rejected, even if you meet our other admission criteria.

Remember that writing a personal statement takes time and fort – you should jot down a few points on a piece of paper bore starting to write it in full.

General statements such as "I want a better job" or "I enjoy studying" are not sufficient and will count against you.

What you should say

Here are the themes that you should consider when writing your personal statement. This list is not complete, but they are likely to form the basis of your statement.

Academic

Why you want to undertake postgraduate study.

Your reasons for choosing the specific course. This is vital. Saying you are interested in "business" or "management" is not sufficient.

How your first degree and/or work experience is relevant to the course.

What academic skills you have developed and how they relate to the MSc course you have chosen.

Personal Attributes

What personal skills can you offer? Again, you must explain how these skills are relevant for your study at WMG

Your future career goals.

How you should say it

Address the subject of the course. WMG do not offer general "management" or "business" courses, so be specific: how are your skills and interests related to Logistics, Project Management, e-Business etc?

Relate the things you say about yourself to the course applied for. Don't just say "I worked for two months at Company X"; explain its relevance: "At Company X I was involved in troubleshooting project overruns on a new product design. This made it clear to me how important project management and risk management is".

Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling

It is important to get these right. Incorrect grammar, spelling or punctuation can make it difficult for us to read and understand what you are trying to say. For a start, you should use the grammar and spell checker provided in your word processor, but don't rely on these alone. Print your statement and read it with a pen in hand. Even better, get someone else to check it for you.

Style

Aim for 500 words. It may seem like a lot, but it will fill up quickly. Be concise and straight-forward in your writing. Keep your sentences short and get to the point. Most of the poor statements we see are too long, not too short.

Presentation

Use full sentences, starting with a capital letter and finishing with a full-stop.

Do not use slang or informal language.

Use paragraphs – your statement should read like any other piece of written work, that is, it should have an introduction (the beginning), body (the middle), and conclusion (the end).

Quick Tips

Don't use your statement to tell us what we already know. For example details of your undergraduate degree will be evident from your transcripts.

A personal statement is not a CV, so avoid just listing everything you have ever done.

Donʼt submit the same generic statement for many different courses. You must tailor the statement for each specific course.

You can include information about your hobbies / voluntary work etc, but you must explain how these relate to the course you have applied for.

Donʼt tell us about other people (e.g. your parents), they aren't the ones who will be studying at WMG.

Avoid vague statements such as "I have always wanted to go to your University because I have a passion for study".

Do not, under any circumstances, copy a personal statement from another source. In particular do not use "fective personal statement" type websites or forums.