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文书点评:美国本科申请文书——领导力(Leadership)

刚刚更新 编辑: 美国 浏览次数:245 移动端
Napoleon s motto: Every French soldier carries a marshal s baton in his knapsack . Fortunately, from primary school to high school, not only I have nicety wishes to be a general, but also managed to came to the fore of the endless and intense campaign of class leaders and finally to become a True General of class the monitor. The position, and along with the honor of Excellent Student Leader witnessed my growth and mature as a leader. At the same time, they encouraged me to take on the responsibility in my life and granted me the wisdom of facing any difficulties, and also, the art of human communication skill. All of this made me feel confident to perform well in my future life, no matter the life in campus or my profession career.

When I was enrolled in university, though I took massive time than bore on learning, doing research and preparing to go abroad, the ability of leadership and the corresponding and organizing capability helped me to be certificated by faculties of the university, and I was appointed as the commissary in charge of studies for two year. During this time, I was responsible for organizing and attending different kinds of activities such as academic intercommunion, competitions, which annealed my capabilities on taking charge of overall situation like these activities. I always remember the Innovation Competition of Carving out Plans, which was aimed to select the outstanding person for the Cup of Challenge National Competition. I took part in the competition and was the leader of the finance team composed student from Financial Department and Information Manage Department. In the course of this, I had to be put my leadership to proof, overcoming the problems evoked by the various way we think and the different kinds of communication method, because all the members came from separate majors.

The most intractable problem is the selecting of the address of enterprise. The enterprise we planned to establish pitch the process and regie of 软装潢 for the middle-aged and young people. Members majored in Biochemistry thought the enterprise should locate in the area nearby raw and processed materials, so that the transport costs and the hire could be reduced and also promoted the product development. On the other hand, members majored in Information Manage favored to the busy streets, which made the extending and propagandizing activities more convenient to be developed, and the members majored in Finance would like to choose the area of resident community which was convenient to aim to the objective.

The tripartite viewpoint respectively has the fit and unfit quality, as the leader, I has listened earnestly and respectfully all the argument details they elaborated, and comparing the emphasis points, the difference and feasibility and discussing with the doubts. After I integrated all the information and viewpoint from my members, I proposed the final address-selecting scheme: separating the manufacture factory and the distribution shop in two areas, and setting producing area in the shop with staffs in order to satisfy the customers needs. Most of the finished products were transported from the factory, betimes-products was produced in the producing area. By the way, the thought of locate in areas of resident community was a good idea, but in general speaking, the new established enterprise hasn t got good reputation by all the people so that the products may not be accepted by most of them. So in my opinion, we should accumulating the brand faithfulness and then extending widely in forms of chain-leagued shops. In this way, my address-selecting scheme was ratified by all the members in my team.

After settled the address-select problem, I began to arrange the members to other assignment. To our enterprise, the most important raw and processed materials were fabrics and the members majored in Biochemistry Engineering had the predominance, because they were familiar with the texture and the use of the fabrics, so they were arranged to responsible for the stocking and designing, including selecting the materials and the information of cost price and digital of financing calculation. Members majored in Information Manage, considering their superiority, were responsible for the marketing investigation, maintaining interior of enterprise information system, brand promotion and management of customer relations. The other members, who majored in Finance, of course, under my lead to budget the future financial condition based on comprehensive utilization of the digitals of cost and market sale forecast, and also doing the project appraisal.

In the course of financial appraisal, we also met the conditions of holding separate opinions, as the leader, I must avoid making decision arbitrarily and ignoring the talent of my members, and also learned to listen respectfully. I did my best to state my viewpoint including the advantage and disadvantage and spoke in the way to be accepted easily, and holding modestly manner, however, can make convictive decision when necessary.

During this time, we all thought much of the power of team spirits and got in tough with each other in order to corresponding with the information. In this way, we took advantage of different kinds of members superiorities and corresponded the separate viewpoints, solving all the difficulties we met and achieved success, So I believe that I have the potential to be a leader and have ability of self-perfection in each position. I believe that if I could enter in Fish, I can also develop myself better with the virtue of my abilities and unceasingly enterprising spirit.

点评:

作为本科留学申请的文书,本文所选择的角度非常好。因为作为一名高中生,在学术方面不可能有很深入的成就和研究,但是Leadership却是一种非常重要的能力,对于好的学校来说,他们在选择学生的时候,主要就是从申请者的背景以及活动经历等方面来判断其能力以及发展的潜力。

Leadership在美国人眼里是非常值得欣赏的能力,文章通过描述自己再高中期间参加的全国 挑战杯 进行筛选的 大夏杯 创业计划大赛的活动经历,来作为重点描述,从活动期间的各个细节、面对困难时的调解能力、对队员情绪的安抚、以及对整个比赛的规划等方面,来突出自己的特点、能力、甚至个性等。

稍显不足的是,对所要申请的学校描述不多,虽然在文章最后表明自己非常想去这个学校,但没有写具体的东西,显得有点空洞,如果能适当加入一些对学校某些专业的描述、并结合自己的经历,来说明自己非常适合这个学校,那样的话,效果会更好一些。

译文:

领导力

拿破仑曾经说过: 不想当将军的士兵不是好士兵。 很幸运,从小学三年级一直到高中结束,我都不仅仅有着当将军的美好愿望,而且从一轮轮角逐激烈的班干部竞选中脱颖而出,成为班级真正的 将军 班长。这个职位连同整整十年的 优秀干部 荣誉称号见证了我作为一个领导者的成长与成熟,教会了我担当责任的勇气、灵活应变的智慧以及与人相处的艺术,也让我有信心在以后的学习和职业生涯中继续扮演好这样的角色。

进入大学后,虽然投入了更多的时间学习、研究和准备出国,我身上自然流露出来的作为领导者的责任心、全局意识和组织协调能力帮助我赢得了同学和老师的一致认可,连续两年被委以学习委员的重任,组织和参加各种重要学术交流和竞赛活动,极大的锻炼了自己主持大局的能力。其中最令我记忆犹新的就是大三下学期带领由金融系同学组成的财务小组与来自信息管理以及生化工程专业的同学合作参加学校为全国 挑战杯 进行筛选的 大夏杯 创业计划大赛。在整个过程中,我们需要克服的除了因专业差异导致的沟通困难,还有思考方式不同引起的诸多问题和考验。

首当其冲的棘手问题就是企业的选址。鉴于我们计划成立的企业是定位于中轻年人群的 软装潢 加工和专卖,生化工程专业的同学认为应该选择离原材料较近的场所,既能享受比较低廉的运输费用和租金,又能利用原材料信息来源优势推进新产品的开发。但是信息管理专业的同学认为应该选择交通便利、人流量集中的闹市,这样便于促销的开展和品牌的推广。而金融专业同学则觉得居民社区是个很不错的选择,可以直接锁定我们的目标人群。

三方观点各有优劣,作为项目负责人,我先认真聆听了各方详细的观点阐述和论据罗列,然后将他们逐条列出来比较其各自的侧重点,并分析他们背后的异同和可行性,同时将我在一些疑问提出来,最后在充分理解各方观点重心的情况下,提出了一项综合的选址方案:考虑到生化工程和信管专业的同学的选址观点分别是针对生产和销售两个环节,我们可以将生产工厂和销售店面分开来设立,同时在销售店面里设置小块的加工区,配备设计和加工人员,满足顾客可能的及时加工的需求。大部分制成品从工厂运输,及时加工的服务则在销售店面直接加工。另外,虽然居民社区是一个很好的销售网点选择地,但鉴于企业成立之初,品牌尚未建立,很难得到居民大规模的认可。所以,可以在做到一定规模并积累了充分的品牌忠诚度后,再以连锁加盟的方式向社区扩散。这样一来,通过综合各方观点的优势,充分尊重不同的意见,合理安排,我提出的这个选址的最终方案的得到了大家的一致通过。

在巧妙的解决了选址问题之后,我又着手安排各项任务的分工。由于我们企业最重要的。原材料是匹,而生化工程的同学有着专业上的优势,对原材料的质地和用途都非常熟悉,所以他们主要集中处理采购和设计环节,包括选择原材料、收集成本价格的各项信息为财务核算提供数据等等。信息管理的同学则在信息搜集和处理上有很大的优势,所以负责市场状况调查,企业内部信息系统维护,品牌推广以及客户关系管理。金融系的同学自然就是在我的带领下综合利用成本和市场销售预测等数据对未来的财务状况作出预算和项目评估。

在进行财务评估的过程中,我们也遇到了很多意见不一致的情况,这时,作为主管我都避免独断专行,学着聆听,不忽略每一个成员的才能。而在陈述观点时,也尽力做到利弊共陈,用大家容易理解和认可的方式。抱着谦虚地态度,同时在必要的时候又能做出让人信服的决断。

在这个过程中,我们三组人员都非常重视团队的力量,随时保持信息的沟通和传递。这样通过整合各个专业同学的所长,多次的协调观点,提出和解决问题。最终取得了非常出色的成绩。通过这一次的经历,我更加坚信自己不但具有作为一个领导者的潜力和技巧,而且能从每一次的角色扮演中不断进步和完善。相信到了Gr,我也能借助我已有能力和不断进取的精神作的更好。

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