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2017年英国留学生的个人陈述写作思路亲身经验谈

刚刚更新 编辑: 英国 浏览次数:221 移动端

  对于英国留学申请文书中PS个人陈述的写作,网上多提供很多模板或者笼统的讲解,却甚少有英国留学生真实的申请文书讲解,下面就是一位成功申请到杜伦大学的留学生分享的自己亲身的个人陈述写作思路经验。

  已经来英国杜伦大学将近一年的时间了,现在正是英国留学申请的高峰期,自己的申请杜伦大学marketing专业时,有很多感想和经验可以跟大家分享,本文主要说的是个人陈述的写作。对于有工作经验的同学来说,准备英国留学的申请材料中有三样东西已经是注定无法改变的,它们是本科学校、本科成绩(GPA)以及工作经历。但是还有三样东西是可以通过努力做得更好,它们是语言成绩(申请英国的时候特指雅思)、个人陈述(PS)、以及推荐信。

  在无法改变的三样东西当中,我的条件还算可以:

  1)本科学校:中国农业大学,虽然排在20-30名之间,好歹也是985工程加211工程重点院校,差强人意;

  2)本科成绩:GPA 3.4/4.0,全班排名第三。很多学校对于GPA有最低要求的,我这个成绩折算下来刚刚到85/100,应该能满足所有顶尖名校的要求;

  3)工作经历:5年跨国公司的工作经历应该是我申请的亮点,其中2年半在卡夫食品,全球第二大的食品公司,2年半在伟达公关,全球最顶尖的公共关系咨询公司。

  剩下的三样东西我的确花了一些心思,不过现在看来也不能算完美,岂能尽如人意,但求无愧我心吧。我把自己的一点点经验贴出来,希望对于后来人能有所帮助和启发。

  我的雅思成绩是7.0分(其中听力7.0、阅读7.5、写作6.0、口语7.5),刚好达到了杜伦大学MA in Marketing的最低要求。惭愧的是,在雅思准备上我几乎没有经验可以给大家参考,因为我既没有上过任何英语辅导班,又没有自己认真复习过剑桥雅思1-7。说来也倒霉,考试的时候恰逢工作最繁忙的一段时间,连续一个月平均每天工作12小时并且周末无休,每天一回家就倒头大睡。考试前一天夜里10点多我才发现考试要求的护照照片不允许戴眼镜,我一个人开车在大街上游荡了一个多小时也没找到仍然营业的照相馆。后来终于发现一个关闭的照相馆从门缝里透出一丝光线,我大喜过望,下车就去狂砸门,对方以为我是来抢劫的死活不肯开。无奈之下,我又跑到隔壁还在营业的饭馆里,找饭馆老板和照相馆老板通话,证明我真的是来照相的,不是抢劫的……折腾一番回到家里已经快12点了,而第二天要6点起床去考试。裸考出这样的成绩也出乎自己的意料,这应该得益于自己5年来一直都在英语环境工作,所谓应用就是最好的学习。不过,我想如果能认真准备一个月的话,听力和写作应该都可以再提高一些。

  对于我这样转专业深造的人来说,PS(Personal Statement, or Statement of Purpose)显得尤为重要。我必须要在短短几百个字内向自己心仪的商学院说明自己为什么对申请的专业产生如此浓厚的兴趣,并且这个选择对自己的个人发展来说为何意义非凡,同时又要证明自己的学术能力和相关背景足以保证自己能够顺利完成学业。最后,还要强调自己的工作经验和独特背景能够为商学院带来独有的价值,在我从老师和同学那里学到东西的同时,也能让他们从我身上有所收获。我把自己的PS贴在下面,给同样为此苦恼过的同学做个参考。

  Statement of Purpose

  As a bachelor’s degree holder from China Agricultural University with more than four years of working experience with top, multinational companies, I would like to take this opportunity to share with you a few things which I will bring to your graduate school of marketing.

  注:出于懒惰,我没有针对不同的投递对象准备相应的PS,而是用万能版本投向N个学校,所以我没有选择哗众取宠、剑走偏逢的开头去吸引教授眼球,而是用了一个四平八稳的开篇力求万无一失。开头主要强调了自己能给商学院带去的东西,也就是我当时在跨国公司超过4年的工作经验,这是我的独特卖点(unique selling point),后面也会据此展开。

  Academic Excellence and Diversity

  I have excelled throughout my academic years with an average score of 84.5%, and received numerous academic scholarships and awards. Upon completing my Bachelor’s Degree in Food Science and Nutrition Engineering at China Agricultural University, I also took up marketing, statistics and logic courses as part of my minors. I have pursued an interdisciplinary focus throughout my studies, while my comprehensive academic result landed me 3rd place in my class and my graduation thesis was recommended by Vice Professor Shen Lin as Excellent Graduation Thesis. My academic results subsequently convinced me in drawing upon my strong foundation in a wide range of academic disciplines for my future academic pursuance at your school.

  注:为了削弱跨专业申请的障碍,我特意强调了自己曾经辅修过Marketing的课程,这一点在对应的成绩单上也有所体现。由于教务处拒绝在成绩单上注明我的班级排名,但这却是我学习能力最好的证明,所以我把这个信息放在了这里,同时提到自己曾经获得的优秀毕业生论文推荐,这些事实足以支撑academic excellence and diversity的论点。

  Professional Development & Orientation

  Upon my graduation from China Agricultural University in 2005, I stood out from more than 30,000 candidates and qualified for the post as a Manufacturing Management Trainee at Kraft Foods — the second largest food company in the world. The 18-month rotation from manufacturing to marketing and financing brought me to the ocean of commercial operation, and my strong performance in ERP Project of Supply Chain Startup made me ace in my annual performance appraisals. However, I noticed that the industry of fast-moving consumer goods had great distinction from the IT, medical, and automobile industries etc. The industry I was then involved in hardly had applied the core technology I was passionate about, and the products made by many small and medium sized companies had little distance from those made by the World Top-500, that is to say the key for the success of a product is determined by the need of consumers and top notch marketing strategies rather than research and development power of the manufacturer. This era is marketing oriented and albeit optimized solutions in food processing, low cost and better quality is dinitely inevitable. Marketing specialists are able to bring a wider perspective to me compared to a process engineer, which resulted in my decision to transfer to marketing area. In an entrepreneur Contest of Kraft Foods China, my marketing idea/proposal won the second prize and achieved a remarkable feedback among certain people through practice. During my rotation within eight departments in Kraft Foods, my performance ensured my mentor that I would be a prominent management trainee but to me it was a turning point in my career.

  Hill & Knowlton is another door opened to me by chance. This renowned public relations consulting company has been providing professional consulting services to governments, and business and non-profit organizations for more than 80 years. I began my career with Hill & Knowlton in 2007 and currently hold the position as a Senior Account Executive. With my strong enthusiasm for marketing, I started from scratch, learning brand related knowledge, focus groups, surveys, composing news report, organizing activities, building relations with the media, managing third-party suppliers, developing business around new clients etc. My clients include HP, Deloitte, Speedo, and COFCO (China National Cereals, Oils and Foodstuffs Corporation) among others. Under the direction of technology practice and corporate communication, my team provides the services which include executive PR, analyst relations, social media practice, corporate social responsibility, and regular daily tasks such as drafting and issuing press releases and media monitoring for local companies in China to Fortune 500 companies. It was through these tasks which realized that not every industry is marketing oriented. In fact, a product’s quality, after-sales service and supply chain ficiency make up the chain of core necessities in marketing. I am hence very determined to continue pursuing higher education in one of the most developed and exciting countries — United Kingdom, with hopes of acquiring larger than life education in the marketing field and touching the essence of UK’s much diversified culture and history.

  注:花开两朵,各表一枝。我在两家公司的工作经历也都自成一段,首先通过数字还原了那个年代世界500强校园招聘战场上的硝烟弥漫,接着用年度评估的卓越表现证明自己在强手如林的外企一样能获得认可。也正是在这一段里,我提出了自己对于快速消费品行业(FMCG)的认知,即这个行业是marketing oriented,而不是R&D oriented,这就是为什么我开始动了从Process Engineer到Marketing Specialist的念头。而后,在卡夫食品大中华区营销创意大赛上我的想法得到大奖,由此延展而成的营销活动也取得了巨大成功,更加坚定了我转行marketing的决心。紧接着,我又描述了自己在伟达公关的经历,通过这份工作我更加深入细致地认识了营销,但也发现了营销的局限性,即marketing is not everything。这个时候我已经站在了Marketing的圈子当中,进一步深造也是自然而然、顺理成章的事情了,无需赘言。

  Commitment and Discipline

  With my four years of experience as a student leader in China Agricultural University and my working experience in two industries, I have managed to build a strong sense of self-discipline. My four years of working experience has no doubt enhanced my perspective in the world of business. With this I am determined to undertake all endeavors fully and wholeheartedly. My decision to study marketing in UK is a very important step and I am taking this very seriously, and I believe I am both physically and mentally equipped with the drive to succeed and excel.

  A Unique Perspective

  Throughout my adulthood, I have had diverse experiences which continue to play a role in shaping my perspective toward the international market and economy.

  With my experiences as both an engineer and a consultant, I have become increasingly interested in the international business arena especially in marketing and public relations. I can’t wait to improve my current skills and knowledge and dedicate my passion at your business school. With this I sincerely hope you can give my application a favorable consideration. Thank you.

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  注:最后,再强调一下自己的motivation,表示自己对于进一步求学的渴望。通过表决心给对方树信心,暗示他们拒绝我这样的青年才俊将是一个不可饶恕的错误,低调而含蓄地希望对方予以考虑。

  从这位英国留学生的个人陈述写作思路亲身经验谈可以看出,其实,个人陈述并不难写,只要以自己的学习和经历为中心,针对所申请的学校和专业所需要的学生特质,展开思路去展现出自己的优势就能在个人陈述的文书上先人一步了。

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