那些美国名校的幽默

　　1. Harvard 哈佛大学

　　If you looked this up， it’s obviously not on your list of college applications.

　　如果你还在这里搜索这个词，那它肯定不会出现在你的选校名单上

　　A school in which the graduates will be your future bosses. Everyone hates them out of sheer jealousy， even though people say they hate it， if offered a spot theyd be total assholes and accept like a true hypocrite.

　　这里的毕业生以后是你的老板!据说大家都厌恶他们，但如果哈佛给你offer，保准你会屁颠屁颠的欣然接受。

　　A cesspool of arrogant snobs who will one day own a disproportionate amount of America's wealth.

　　势力傲慢自大鬼的集合地，这些人某一天还会拥有数量大得惊人的财富。

　　2. Yale 耶鲁大学

　　Where future presidents 'went'.

　　未来的美国总统曾就读的学校

　　A group of children located in an urban slum of Connecticut who spend their time trying to convince others that they are as good as or better than Harvard

　　一群位于康州城区贫民窟的孩子穷尽一生试图证明自己跟哈佛一样好。

　　3. Princeton 普林斯顿大学

　　A very good Ivy League college whose graduates are: a) Intelligent; b) Narcissistic; c) Effeminate. 一所非常优秀的常青藤名校，其学生以聪明，自恋，女性化闻名。

　　Way better than those community colleges known as Harvard and Yale， Princeton was founded in the best year ever by a race of athletic， intellectual， international super-pimps for the sole purpose of being better than the other Ivies in lacrosse and academics。

　　秒杀哈佛、耶鲁等社区学院，普林斯顿由一批各种牛逼人物创立其唯一的目的就是在长曲棍球和学术上击败其他常春藤学校。

　　4. Stanford 斯坦顿大学

　　The university you wish you went to.

　　你希望你曾在那儿念书的学校

　　A prestigious private university where the asshole students can't decide whether they are better than everyone else because they're rich (which they are) or because they're smart (which they aren't).

　　一所顶尖的私立大学，这里的混蛋学生们总是搞不清楚更加“优秀”的原因是他们更加有钱(是这么回事)呢还是他们更加聪明(纯粹是谣言)。

　　5. UPenn 宾夕法尼亚大学

　　A party school that happens to be a member of the Ivy League. Tends to attract that kids that don't apply to Harvard， Yale， Princeton， and MIT because， hey， college is about having a fucking awesome time.

　　碰巧成为常春藤的一所党校(哈哈，派对校)。吸引着那些不愿意申请哈佛、耶鲁、普林斯顿和麻神理工的学生，因为大学是为了度过一段有趣而光辉的岁月。

　　6. Caltech 加州理工学院

　　An institute with a grand total of three girls (one pregnant， one lesbian， and one three-year-old -- Dean's daughter).

　　一间加起来总共只有3个女生的学校，其中一个怀孕了，一个是女同，第三个是系主任3岁的女儿。

　　7. MIT 麻省理工学院

　　Best engineering school in the world， best pranks in the world， biggest tunnel system outside the Kremlin， heaven for all nerds and wanna-be nerds.

　　世界上最好的工程学校，这里有着最好的恶作剧和Kremlin宫以外最大的通道系统，这里是所有书呆子以及有志于成为书呆子的人的天堂。

　　8. Duke 杜克大学

　　Harvard…… of the South 南方的哈佛

　　9. UChicago 芝加哥大学

　　Harvard's lesser-known， intellectually superior little brother.

　　哈佛的那位名气稍逊但智慧超人的兄弟

　　10. Dartmouth College

　　Dartmouth tends to attract smart， white， preppy kids who just want to go skiing and drink beer。

　　达特茅斯学院吸引着聪明的白人，校园派的着装风格，只喜欢滑雪和喝啤酒。