震惊！考官范文原来是这么写的！

对于“烤鸭”而言，写作范文宛若“金科玉律”，人人追捧。但是，大家是否在看完范文后只能大呼“不明觉厉“，却说不出究竟哪里写得好呢？

今天，明老师就带大家一起赏析一篇雅思前考官Simon的九分范文，看看“烤鸭”们究竟能模仿的精华是什么。

题目：Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether we are more or less dependent on others nowadays. In my view, modern life forces us to be more independent than people were in the past.

分析：

正文第一段，共两句话，32个字。

第一句话用“people have different views about whether”句型对题目进行转述（此句型可以作为“讨论类”作文首段的模版）；第二句话清晰明了地表明自己到底支持哪个观点。

这是非常工整的开头段结构，所有“烤鸭”都要掌握。

There are two main reasons why it could be argued that we are more dependent on each other now. Firstly, life is more complex and difficult, especially because the cost of living has increased so dramatically. For example, young adults tend to rely on their parents for help when buying a house. Property prices are higher than ever, and without help it would be impossible for many people to pay a deposit and a mortgage. Secondly, people seem to be more ambitious nowadays, and they want a better quality of life for their families. This means that both parents usually need to work full-time, and they depend on support from grandparents and babysitters for child care.

分析：

正文主体段一，共6句话，116个字。

第一句话用“There are two main reasons why it could be argued that“句型引出自己不支持的那方观点（此句型可以作为“讨论类”作文主体段论述反方观点的模版），起到“中心句“的作用，整段结构是“先总后分”。

随后，作者用两个理由（生活成本高和家人需要介入育儿）论述了为什么有些人认为人需要依赖彼此，跟中心句的”two main reasons“前后呼应。

需要注意的是，作者用非常简单的连接词“firstly、secondly”引出了两个理由，这增强了段落逻辑性和句子衔接。

另外，作者并不是简单的用两句话就结束对两个理由的讨论，而是在每个理由后面，都加入了详细的解释（第一个理由用“for example“举例的方式；第二个理由用”it means that“递进的方式。这些解释方式或句型，也是“烤鸭”们要在自己的大作文中用到的：很多“烤鸭”总觉得作文不知道写什么，就是因为没有养成“解释”自己想法的思维模式。

However, I would agree with those who believe that people are more independent these days. In most countries, families are becoming smaller and more dispersed, which means that people cannot count on relatives as much as they used to. We also have more freedom to travel and live far away from our hometowns. For example, many students choose to study abroad instead of going to their local university, and this experience makes them more independent as they learn to live alone. Another factor in this growing independence is technology, which allows us to work alone and from any part of the world.

分析：

正文主体段二，共5句话，102个字。

第一句话跟用 “However, I would agree with those who believe that”句型不仅承上启下，引出自己支持的观点，而且起到本段“中心句”的作用。

第二句话论述第一个理由：亲戚间住得远，依靠不上。需要注意的是，作者把对这个理由的解释，利用which引导的定语从句放在了句子的后半句，所以整句话明显很长；采取的解释方式依然是递进。大家不要看到理由一只用了一个句子描写，就觉得作者没有解释哦。

第三句话论述第二个理由：远离家乡；一个“also”让段落层次立刻凸显，考官也能一目了然的看出这句话的作用。

接下来，作者再次使用举例，解释了为什么远离家乡就导致人要独立。所以大家学会了吗，举例绝对是大作文主体段必须使用的“不二法门“，而且完全可以每个主体段各来一个例子。

至此，本段的内容还是不够充实，所以作者用“another factor”（另一个因素）引出了第三个理由：科技；同样的，作者依然采取递进的形式，用定语从句which解释了科技如何让我们变得更独立。

In conclusion, while there are some reasons to believe that people now depend on each other more, my view is that we are more independent than ever.

分析：

正文最后一段，共1句话，27个字。

作者重申了自己支持的观点，跟第一段首尾呼应。

同时，为了增添字数，作者用“while“转折的形式顺带引出反方观点。

总结：

一篇高分作文，并不需要华丽的词藻或高级的句式。各位“烤鸭”在学习范文时，不要把重点放在某个单词或句型上，而要分析其文章结构、句子间的衔接以及主体段是如何去进一步佐证提到的论点的。

祝各位“烤鸭”早日参透范文真谛，学会举一反三！