2017年公共卫生MPH专业个人陈述范文点评

　　硕士申请文书点评——文书单刀直入的意义和先修课的重要性

　　Sample PS_ MPH

　　Personal Statement

　　Academic Program: Epidemiology M.P.H.

　　“Get out of here and never come back!” Forcully pushed out of the pub, I sat down against a nearby wall to scrub the dust off my shoes and regain my composure. My pride was wounded, not because of the way they treated me, but because they did not believe what I told them. It was the second time I had been forced out of this particular pub, a place for gay gathering. This is part of my research project “Health education model of preventing HIV/AIDS based on employer-employee relationships”, which I was working on. I believed that in order to fectively prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS, employers, who are on the top of business pyramid, should be first in line to know the disease well, because they can leverage the sufficient resources necessary to exert great influence on the disease prevention within their enterprises. This approach fits the circumstances in China particularly well.

　　In face of this frustration, I didn’t give up trying. Bore the start of the project, the local center for disease control and prevention had already counted the fifth reported case of AIDS virus infection, who later acknowledged that he had once provided sex service in that club or dated his homosexual partner. The devastating consequences if no intervention would be taken obliged me to try other means. Working as a team, three friends joined my endeavor and we handed out brochures outside the pub that introduced HIV/AIDS preventive measures with the elaborately-designed slogan “We understand you by showing our care to you!” Eventually, our persistence had been well paid off. Our respect of their personal choice melted the toughness of the owner of the club and he agreed to give a hand in sending the information to his employees and clients.

　　点评1：前两段基本上都在讲自己为了宣传防艾滋遇到的困难，没有涉及到太深的专业领域，不是十分单刀直入，语句不是十分非常简练。但是，传达了具体MPH 专业方向，这一点值得赞扬。很多申请者因为研究经历太多样化而不能确定明确的方向。而，这篇PS一开始就确定了目标，这一点非常好。

　　My name is Yuan, Chen. I grew up in a Nanjing family, where my mother is a senior experimentalist at the Key Lab of Reproductive Medicine of Jiangsu Province. Because of her profession, our daily communication inevitably touched on health-related issues like health care, disease control and prevention. She showed me the importance of public health and its impact on all aspects of human well-being. I was so intrigued by what my mother had devoted her life to that I made up my mind to follow her footprint. My aspirations eventually led me to the School of Public Health at Nanjing Medical University.

　　点评2：家庭因素在PS写作中永远是一个重要的切入点，这篇PS也不例外。

　　During my years of college study, I was recognized for my academic performance and awarded with scholarships multiple times. Driven by curiosity and a desire to enrich myself, I have come out top in my undergraduate class for four straight years. Absolutely, college study is not only a matter of getting perfect scores in the class, as I understand. Since my sophomore year, I began to work on research projects at the Key Lab of Modern Toxicology of Ministry of Education, which consists mainly of graduate students. I detected the fects of pyrethroids (permethrin, cypermethrin, fenvalerate) and their major metabolite 3-phenoxybenzoic acid on rat sperm motility in vitro with a computer-assisted sperm analysis (CASA) system and then published two papers in English. The research work proved to be especially rewarding. It provided an opportunity for me to apply what I had learned in the classroom so that I gained a deeper understanding of it. But it also armed me with strong computer skills and laboratory techniques.

　　The direct impact of public health on our society makes it not only an academic subject, but also a social issue. Instilling a healthy life style concept in the community through promotion of healthy habits is as important as conducting research. Upon this comprehension, I took part in the Red Ribbon Peer Association of my university, an organization which aims to bring HIV/AIDS peer education to the public, and to help find treatment for those in need.

　　AIDS is a very sensitive topic that people are very reluctant to publicly discuss in China, due to the innate conservatism of Chinese culture. Government also avoids talking about it by blaming lack of information. Gradually, the disease has become a forbidden zone full of controversy and misunderstanding in the public eye. People have either not heard about it, or just do not know what to do with it. Some are so scared of it that they do not want to have any physical contact with infected people. Even in the health care industry, many people do not have sufficient knowledge of it, according to our surveys. However, in sharp contrast to the public’s ignorance are the brutal facts that we can no longer turn a blind eye. It is estimated that in China, there are 740,000 people living with HIV/AIDS, and the number is still climbing rapidly year by year. Each year, nearly half of the new reported cases are under twenty-five.

　　As a group highlighting this sensitive issue in the face of people’s traditional views, we met with much doubts, disbeli and resistance. Many people openly mocked and shunned us. “AIDS is a western disease. How can it appear here?” “I do not want to talk to AIDS patients because I do not want to be infected.” “How is it possible for AIDS to be transmitted between man and man?” “AIDS is an immoral disease, and as long as I do not have sex with people who are immoral, I will be safe.” Faced with such benightedness, we used real stories, persuasive data, and vivid pictures with scientific relevance to help our “students” understand the disease, and we encouraged those concerned with the issue to join our organization. Gradually, people started paying attention and we gained some credibility within some special groups. For one of our events, “Tell the truth”, we invited AIDS experts, patients, and health officials on the same stage, discussing the issue face to face with the pubic. This event gained so much attention after some high profile media reported it that inquiries about our project flooded our mail boxes from all over the country. During this windfall, we received funding support from businesses and government, helping raise our project to a new level. Subsequently, we spent our school breaks and vacations in holding exhibitions, hosting seminars, visiting communities, and conducting surveys.

　　Undoubtedly, fighting against HIV/AIDS is an arduous task and the road is long due to the traits of the virus—its variability and immune suppression. But then, “even a journey of ten thousand miles is started with your first step”, as an old Chinese saying goes, and I volunteer to become even an inch of what builds up this first step. In recent years, China has made some progress on HIV/AIDS prevention and control, but a lack of advanced concepts and expertise poses a bottleneck problem to major breakthroughs. This is the reason why I turn to developed countries like the United States. I am eager to receive systemic and more advanced training in epidemiology in USA and aspire to future leadership in public health in China. This has led my decision to apply for the Epidemiology M.P.H. program in the School of Public Health at the University of Michigan. Holding the beli that one’s ability is not limited by what he already knows but what he is willing to learn and do, I am ready to become more than just a professional in the field of public health, but in fact a professional leader.

　　全文点评：这篇申请文书，最大的亮点是有明确的专业方向，整篇文章中不离不弃一直在探讨流行病-艾滋防御问题。此外，MPH 申请不少学校比较看重统计学背景，密西根根大学的MPH专业也不例外，本篇PS中没有提及一些数理统计方面的背景。从文章中得知，学生本科为药学。据了解，国内药学很多专业没有设置概率，统计，经济学的课程。如果没有这些课程背景的话，PS中应该稍加一些该方面的内容。